Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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