I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
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I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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