I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They left me at home... I'm a liability
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
