i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
and you fell through a lawn chair
I currently don't understand fingers.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
