3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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