What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
