I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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