is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize