Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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