**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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