i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
