So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
