Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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