And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
