Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
