Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
