i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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