No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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