If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
