they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
