Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
