i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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