she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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