She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
