we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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