there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
