Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
