She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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