I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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