Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize