tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I want her autograph on my taint
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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