I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize