We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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