we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No subtext here. People are naked.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize