guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
