ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
