dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
