Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

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(404): View more from Georgia

its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?

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(941): View more from Florida

sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?

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(352): View more from Florida

Ok so I need a recap of last night...

(813): View more from Florida

YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that

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