What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.