this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?