Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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  (713): well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there http://tfl.nu/feia
  Replies (19) Good night (677) Bad night (5438)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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  (630): the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever. http://tfl.nu/uuz9
  Replies (9) Good night (6006) Bad night (975)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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  (810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk
  Replies (31) Good night (1787) Bad night (6581)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.

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  (973): i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones. http://tfl.nu/f4fy
  Replies (25) Good night (4868) Bad night (813)
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  (323): View more from California

  She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.

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  (323): She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine. http://tfl.nu/16u8
  Replies (4) Good night (1955) Bad night (1220)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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  (416): Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer. http://tfl.nu/oqpc
  Replies (6) Good night (2077) Bad night (1302)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today

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  (708): hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today http://tfl.nu/usqr
  Replies (10) Good night (1909) Bad night (1230)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.

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  (619): I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca. http://tfl.nu/7xxl
  Replies (10) Good night (1982) Bad night (1382)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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  (574): its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you? http://tfl.nu/7h5q
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (1919)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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  (425): so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork. http://tfl.nu/y2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (1649) Bad night (664)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.

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  (914): We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar. http://tfl.nu/5gv0
  Replies (13) Good night (4036) Bad night (776)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

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  (610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (505)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (554) Bad night (2143)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

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  (517): No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf (615): Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?! http://tfl.nu/9d33
  Replies (9) Good night (769) Bad night (1910)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2204) Bad night (436)

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