The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I would ride that face into the sunset
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.