What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I puked a lego.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
