i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
