And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize