So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
