I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
