it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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