Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
