Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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