Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
