I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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