if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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