4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
