Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
