You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize