I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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