Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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