I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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