Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
