I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
