As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
