there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
