so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
