Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
