Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
