Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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