she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
