may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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