never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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