And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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