porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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