your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Shame - the story of my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
