Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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